Make rejection your friend.

Rejection is good.

You might be thinking… ”WHAT? No it’s not… I just got rejected from a job or work I wanted.” Or maybe you just got ripped apart in a client presentation or student critique. Or perhaps you were rejected when you asked that guy/girl you’ve been eyeing up for a while on a date.

Pause.

Think about it from their perspective for a minute. Yes. The one who let your expectations down.

You might love chocolate, but you might not always want to eat chocolate — the timing might not be right. And when you DO decide to eat the chocolate, you’re going to pick out a treat that speaks to you, that tastes good, and that you connect with. The chocolate you don’t choose doesn’t mean it’s awful (usually), it simply means it just wasn’t a good fit.

We can learn how to take rejection in stride both personally and professionally—and instead of being discouraged we can learn and improve. [insert my favorite cliché everything happens for a reason statement].

Sometimes it takes time for us to step back and realize this.

A Story of Professional Rejection to Prove:
A long time ago, I was wrapping up grad school and deciding where to go next. I landed an interview with Microsoft out near Seattle. I prepped, rehearsed, and spent many nights putting together my best work. How cool would it be to work at Microsoft fresh out of design school?! Long story short: 14 hours of interviews and a lot of great conversations led me to NO job offer. I was SO bummed. My stomach was in knots and was anxiety through the roof. It made me question if I was a bad designer.

Looking back — things can always be improved — but they weren’t so ‘wrong’. I was also COMPLETELY myself during the interview, except that I was very, very nervous. I simply was not a good fit for the position they were trying to fill, and did not have the skills they were looking for. This hard lesson taught me that if you focus on being the best version of yourself, you’ll land somewhere that IS a great fit. Indeed, I did land somewhere that was a great fit. I worked at White Bicycle for 6+ years with some of the most brilliant thinkers and designers I’d ever come across. The best part? They were kind and we got along and learned from one another. I am so grateful and appreciative to have worked with people who are better than me. I found my love for brand design and working with a variety of clients there. Rejection leads to paths we would not have otherwise uncovered.

Although it stings in the moment, hindsight provides perspective. I am grateful for every personal and professional rejection, because each has made me better. Consider this approach; it will help you find you find a path that is best for YOU, and you’ll have empathy when doing the rejecting.

PS. A dear friend did get the job and it was a great fit for her.